Hi!

So. 2020, eh?

It’s been a loooong year for all of us. A lot of things had happened, and let me tell you mine. It’s not going to be a long post because I don’t think I’d be able to explain it all.

The first significant thing that happened to me was that I passed the Saudi Prometrics that I took in February. I thought it was the year that I would be able to get out of the country, but no.

The pandemic happened mid-March. It has taken a toll on my mental hea lth, too. Different places were on total lockdown, thus I wasn’t able to roam around freely, which was my way of clearing my mind off things.

My family also wasn’t able to visit my sister last April the week of her birthday, since she was studying German in Manila, which is a 2-hour plane flight away from home.

The hospital I was working in also added more memoranda about the pandemic, which is not a problem with me.

Until they opened a new Operating Room for infectious located beside the ICU. You see, staffing is really hard, especially when you have tons of cases, and when the same people have to handle TWO ORs located in different places in the hospital, it gets more difficult.

It came to the point that even I was off duty, my anxiety level is still sky high. So I did what I thought was best for me at the time:

I resigned. I passed my letter to the office last October, and I don’t have any ounce of regret in me.

I thought that the year was going to end without me having at least one simple highlight.

Then, November came. One resident invited me to go to the beach with the ER staff, and I said yes, because the dates they picked for their outing were, thankfully, my days off, so why not, right?

During our time at the beach, I was able to let out some secrets that have been bothering me: I shared to my co-workers my sexuality and mental health while we were playing some games. I also was able to tell someone that I had a crush on them. Go me. Thank god they were cool with it.

So December came, and it was time for me to leave the hospital. I may have had shed a few tears before my last two shifts ended, because come on, man. I’ve been there for four years, and I have gained a lot of friends from those times, many of which I’m closer to than I’ve ever been with my high school classmates.

Now, I’m sitting in my room, looking at my newly painted wall that I did myself. Mental health’s a bit better now, although I still have moments when I feel anxious without any reason.

So that’s that for this year. To everyone who have gone through so much this year and still alive and breathing, I’m so proud of you.

2020, it’s been a hell of a ride.

-claud