I’m turning 30 this year, and I’m terrified.

I know it is just a number, and that I’m just starting in life.

But it just makes it too real for me.

My younger sister lives hours away, and the youngest one has a boyfriend. I have been with them almost my entire life and I am so scared of being left back.

My mother has been retired for almost a year, and my dad had just turned 68. Both of them live on the other side of the world. Everyday, I keep feeling guilt over the fact that they are not getting any younger, but I couldn’t be physically there for them, to take care of them, to look after them like they did when my siblings and I were younger.

People will tell me just to enjoy life, including my parents, but how could I when these are my constant thoughts?