I came across a YouTube short by someone who says that people are just undisciplined, not tired.

I let it play over and over again, trying to understand what this person was trying to say, while I rot in bed absolutely exhausted from the past 2 days that I was working 12-hour shifts.

I used to be able to do my hobbies back when I was only a few years into working. Reading, drawing, journaling, going out to watch a movie, you name it.

But after almost a decade I was burned out. Actually, too burned out to not be able to take care of myself.

I’d wake up at about 10 in the morning but won’t get up until 5pm, and even at that time I don’t even feel hungry. Just exhaustion.

I used to shower every waking day but nowadays, it’s a chore.

I used to be able to read the entirety of 500-page novels in under 48 hours. Hell, I can even do it overnight. Now, it takes me a year to finish a 300-page book.

It had been over 3 years since I had meticuously drawn something. The only things I drew since then were just a couple of outlines that I haven’t even filled in yet and now, they’re just lying around taped to the drawing easel, waiting to be touched.

I used to do bullet journals and most of the sections were on daily entries. Now? I reduced it into monthly recaps, as I couldn’t keep pace anymore.

Previously, if there were new movies at the cinema that were particularly interesting, I would definitely go. Now, I’ve got all of these subscriptions but I couldn’t even press the play button on my watchlist, which just kept piling up.

I started going to the gym a couple months back, swearing to myself to go when I am off work, but it only lasted for a month because I was already tired from my job.

The constant worry about my 60+ year old parents who live more than 6,000km away bites me as well.

And to top it all off, I sometimes experience insomnia, so despite after spendjng the entire day working, there would still be times when I’m not able to sleep. Not abiut until the mext morning.

So while I do somehow understand what that person in the video is trying to say, I still completely disagree with them on it.

Not doing anything doesn’t mean you’re lazy or undiscipled. Sometimes, it’s just the way you try to recover, physically, emotionally and mentally. Other times, you honestly just don’t want to do anything else for the day.

This shows that all of us have different ways on how to spend our day; people just need to face the fact that not everyone has the same approach as them.