The sun had already set and the energy and excitement in the air had already died down a little.

Some of our friends had gone to fetch the others from work. The only ones remaining were us, a few other colleagues, and another person we had just met through an ex-workmate.

I was already having a headache so I laid down in one corner of the open cottage, throwing a towel over my legs to protect myself from the cold. You and the others were still talking so I just stayed there, unable to doze off, listening to you converse in any topic that comes up.

It almost seemed like a lull to me, your talks nothing more that calm ones, with the ocean waters softly crashing in the background.

But it didn’t calm me down. Not with something written on my phone that ended with “I’m going to delete this as soon as you’re finished reading it”.

I had been staring at you since you settled with the others and I had no idea how to get your attention, except for a few times when one the guys asked me if I was okay, only then you’d give me a quick glance and then immediately turn away.

Finally, after some time, your group dispersed and I bolted up in my seat and as you were passing over to get something from your bag, I asked if I could talk to you for a bit.

To which you said yes.

And then sat next to me.

As I opened my notes application on my phone, I told you in a rush that I wrote something and I asked you to read it silently and that I’d just be sitting beside you while you did.

I’ve shared with you a few writings by me previously so this shouldn’t be different, right? But no.

Little did you know that I was trying to calm my breathing and heart beat, even harder to do the latter, and I could barely talk nor even look at you at that point.

I handed my phone over to you and stared at a spot ahead of me, gripping my hands in anxiety while waiting for you to finish.

During that period of time, I had contemplated whether it was a good decision to let you know of what I felt for you.

That you were my crush and it was so strong that I had to tell someone about it since I couldn’t contain it anymore.

That it’s totally okay if you rejected it because I didn’t want to be in a relationship anyway.

It came to a point when it felt like it was taking you forever.

And that’s when you held up your hand for a hand five, which I obliged, and told me that it was okay.

I couldn’t remember much after that, except the part when you said that you admire me for having the guts to confess to you. That I’ve got a huge crush on you and that not many people can do that.

Then someone called for you and asked for help with something, to which you said yes and excused yourself.

Once you left, I took off to the beachside and, feeling a huge weight leave my shoulder, I was able to breathe and, like I usually do when that happens, shed a few tears. Maybe sobbed a bit.

I have no idea why you are so open with those kinds of things.

But thank you so much for hearing me out.

That might be one of the most memorable things that I’ve ever done in my life and I’m quite proud of myself for doing that, despite of the doubts I’ve been having since then.

And damn it, I so admire you for handling these kinds of things well. The person you’re going to be with would be so lucky and blessed to have and call you as their other half.