As I scanned through different Harry Potter merch that I could buy with my own money, and scrolled down various posts on Tumblr that contained stills and fanfiction from my favorite books, tv shows, and movies, my dad entered my room.

“Have you already sent out your curriculum vitae to the agency?” he asked.

I shook my head.

He sighed. “You have to do it now, or you’ll lose a slot for the hiring abroad.” And with that, he left the room, closing the door behind him.

I stared at the closed door for a long time before returning my attention on my cellphone, now showing a gif of Sherlock firing a gun at the sky. It took me a while to close the app, only to open it again and looked at every new post on the first page before finally turning my phone off.

That’s when I thought: I wasn’t ready to let go of this part of my life. The music I listened to, films and shows I watched, and books I read like I didn’t have a care in the world.

Those things were the ones that kept me sane. The ones that gave me comfort. The ones that made me felt safe from anything.

I know I have to act like a grown-up. A full-time responsible adult that should’ve been for the past 3 years, with all the taxes and bills and other similar stuff.

But it’s hard to let go of the things that kept me going, and reminded me not to stress myself too much, and I, too, deserve to take a break.

And now, I have to endure some period of life as an adult before being able to have fun again.

I opened my laptop and started my search for a new job.