*****TRIGGER WARNING*****

I open my eyes from a deep slumber. Normally I would yawn but now, my throat feels funny.

My back is positioned at a moderate height; the light above casts a shadow of my head across my body covered in thin blanket. I shiver, feeling the slight draft in the room I am in.

My vision is still blurry, but I can see cords hanging around. I feel a slight pinch at the tip of my finger.

Something beeps from above me. I try to look up but something is stopping me.

I become more awake and aware of my environment; a small room large enough for the bed I am in and space to walk around it. I feel my lungs expand, even though I am not making an effort breathing.

I realize what is causing the discomfort in my throat. I know that it will prevent me from talking or shouting, but it still doesn’t stop me from trying to do the latter. I fail.

I try to remember what was the last thing that happened before darkness enveloped.

It clicks.

I tried killing myself. I hung myself from my bedroom ceiling fan. My toes still touched the tiled floors but barely. I remember choking and, finally, passing out.

I sit up and remove whatever was inserted to my respiratory system; I only successfully disconnect the tube from a machine and suddenly, I cannot breathe again. The machine beeps beside me and not a moment later, the door to the room bursts open and in come people in gowns, caps and gloves.

One of them reconnects the tube while the others calm me down. They are whispering soothing words but I can not comprehend, because panic is building up again inside. Yet they succeed, and I lay back down, helpless, as tears stream down my face, the ghost of the memory haunting my mind.